journey of life

I did not mean to be away this long from my blog...it was my goal this summer to keep everyone updated on our lives, the pregnancy, and other projects this summer.

But, as always, God had different plans for our lives.

About three weeks ago we received a midnight phone call that Jason's dad had been brought to the emergency room with difficulty breathing and had been intubated right then and there. A ventilator was keeping him alive and breathing. A week passed and no improvements; the ventilator was still at 100% oxygen and breathing for him and he had little to no communication with those who worked or visited with him. The doctors called a family meeting and shared that they really did not see him improving and felt the family should make a decision as to whether to keep him on life support or not.

Jason is an only child and in recent years has not been that close with his father. But that was only recently; Jason's childhood memories of adventures with his mountain-man, motorcycle-loving, free-spirited father are precious. They spent days and weeks together camping, hunting, and fishing, all the while teaching Jason to value and love God's creation. Knowing this about his father, Jason had to make the ultimate decision to take his father off life support and allow him to join his Heavenly Father in a place where there is no pain.

We have struggled...first of all with the fact that no 30-year-olds should have to decide something like this for anyone--much less their parent. Also, to learn how to plan a memorial, or to learn what to do with a will and an estate. It really has been a very surreal time in our lives. We have been very fortunate to have the full support of Jason's uncles and aunt in all of this and in some retrospect it probably has brought all of us closer together.

With the memorial service now behind us, we move on to the estate. Another learning process for us (God seems to have given a lot of those to us this year so far!) we actually look forward to it with some anticipation as Jason is given the opportunity to go through his father's things and do a lot of positive reminiscing. :)

God is amazing to us. Through hardship, heartache and many tears, He still provides His loving arms to carry us through. 2009 is and will continue to be a journey of learning new ways that He always provides!

wedding!

last update was a baby...this update is a wedding! Yesterday, my cousin, my sister, was married. And what a fun day it was--not to mention how beautiful the bride was. :) Here are a few pictures from the special day...the rest of my life has consisted of nothing outside of work, school, and church. There are moments I feel completely overwhelmed by it all, but then my wonderful husband goes and gets the groceries, walks the dog, and cleans the entire house...and then I know I couldn't make it all happen without this special man by my side!

family & fun

What a fun weekend! It began Friday evening when we headed to Jason’s cousin’s house for a fondue party. I really didn’t know what to expect—I’ve only met his family a couple of times and I’ve never really eaten fondue. Well, it turns out that both fondue and his cousins are very fun! Fondue included three courses—a cheesy appetizer, a vegetable broth main course, and the yummy chocolate dessert.

Jason & I realized quite early on in our relationship that our families are very different. He is an only child and even though he has several first cousins, they aren’t as close as say my family who can be a bit too close at times… :) So getting to know his family has been a long-term kind of project as get-togethers are pretty infrequent. Even so, when we were together Friday night, I honestly felt as some of them were my long-lost cousins…well, I guess in essence they are my cousins now, but we had so many things in common it really was kind of cool! Two of his cousins are nurses—one even graduated a year ahead of me from Grand Valley. Being a VanDenBrink now seems a lot more “concrete.”

Then, the other fun news from the weekend was some friends of ours becoming parents…to a puppy! We’re so excited for them and can’t wait to have Harley and Emmet meet sometime soon. With most of our friends becoming parents to children—something we can’t quite relate to yet—it is fun to have the opportunity to share some of our parenting puppies “wisdom” with them. I wish them blessings in their parenting journey!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Jason & I are appreciating all the well-wishes on this, our first Christmas together. This has been one of the most relaxing and wonderful holidays that I can remember. With the exception of missing my brother, we are thoroughly enjoying the day(s) of celebration of our Christ's birth.

Advent

It’s that time of year—one of my most favorite times of year! In the Christian church, it is referred to as Advent. At my house, it’s the time of year I can finally listen to Christmas music without getting an eye roll. ;) Over the weekend, I pulled out my Christmas decorations—one of which is an Advent wreath. I grew up with this tradition, of lighting a candle each of the four Sundays prior to Christmas, and then the final candle on Christmas Day. So, I was caught a bit off guard when Jason asked me to explain the Advent tradition and it’s meaning.

Hmmmmm…well…

Honestly, I have to admit I was stumped. So I brought it up in conversation with several friends and family this weekend: what exactly is Advent? What do each of the candles represent? Surprisingly enough, no one I asked could explain it in full detail. My parents actually even remember not having the tradition when they were growing up, it was more or less “recognized” into the Protestant (or maybe just Christian Reformed) traditions about the time they were married thirty-five years ago.

So, I did some investigation. Here is a summary of what I learned and what I feel really kind of clarifies what Advent is:

Advent (from the Latin word advenio, meaning “to come”or “the coming of Christ our saviour”) is a holy season of the Christian church, the period of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the birth of Christ. Christians also believe that the season of Advent serves a dual reminder of the original waiting that was done by the Hebrews for the birth of their Messiah as well as the waiting that Christians today endure as they await the second coming of Jesus. An Advent wreath is made from greens to symbolize continuous life and contains four candles— three purple and one rose. The candle lighting is progressive from week to week, preparing the way for the coming of Jesus. The first Sunday is Hope, then Peace, the third is the pink candle representing Joy, and the fourth is Love. The wreath also has a center white candle that is then lit on Christmas Day to represent the light of Christ.

Jason & I lit our first candle yesterday and did a devotion. I’m so excited to be able to now fully verbalize what Advent is and begin this tradition with my family. May God continue to teach us new ways to honor and worship Him!

cutest kid

I just wanted to share one of my most favorite pictures from this fall. My “nephew” William is growing up so fast—and is as smart as a whip. Already in preschool this year, I find it hard to believe that it was four years ago that he was a babe who was just learning to crawl. However, his smile still lights up my heart and I treasure every moment with this cutest kid around!

weddings & such

Big news on the family front: another cousin engaged to be married! My cousin Beth shared the exciting news with the fam yesterday. She is thinking a summer-time wedding—and I already offered to give her my wedding planning notebook…
Actually, I never did have a notebook—it was more of a two-pocket folder that haphazardly collected anything from receipts to my random thoughts written on paper. I wouldn’t turn it over to anyone actually—it might scare them. ;)

Planning a wedding is quite the feat. Looking back on it now—I really am amazed that I did it literally in less than three months. But, on the other hand, I’ve had such ample opportunities in my life to be involved or part of weddings in one way or another, that I knew exactly what I wanted when my time came. I used to joke not only that had I done every role in a wedding besides being a bride, but that I had had my whole wedding thought out—all I needed was a groom!!! ;)

Silliness—but fun. Wedding planning can be stressful—the mountain of details alone could make someone seek professional counseling—but the end goal should be a wedding day that is fun. Fun not only for the family & friends, but for the groom and especially the bride. My mom asked me early on in the planning process, what was my dream wedding? My answer: an outdoor picnic with a minister thrown in. And that is what we had! There were a few bumps in the road of planning—my least favorite part was actually picking out the clothing for the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, and yes, I’ll admit it—even myself. I actually had more fun helping Jason pick out his suit than I did picking out my own dress! I think the whole thing of trying dresses on and not having them be the correct size, color, length, etc, made it really hard for me to fall in love with my dress right away. But my most favorite part of the wedding process was the invitations. My super creative cousin Andy designed them—so, they were original and unique. Then we continued the design onto our CDs and even our frisbees. It was so cool!

Ultimately though, the goal should NOT be the “perfect” wedding---but rather, a great marriage. Whenever I (or my mother!) started getting stressed out about the details of the wedding, I would say: “guess what? Does [this detail] really matter? Jason & I will still be married at the end of that day!” And true enough, we ARE married at the end of every day from that day forward, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health—and that is what really counts.

all is well

Harley is okay! I took him in for his x-ray this morning and everything inside looks ship-shape, with the exception of the UTI, of course. He's back on an antibiotic for awhile, but that's about it. So, aside from the large vet bill, everything is good on Prospect. :)

On a different note, my brother made a brief appearance-less than 48 hours-in the US this week. He was home Tuesday night from Brazil and then off to Korea on Thursday morning. I'm not sure I really had enough time to be emotional about it. It felt so good to have him around the house Wednesday night, but a little awkward too, as Jason & I have gotten used to him not being around. And then I took him to the airport Thursday morning--where I gave him a hug, reminded him that he's loved--and then drove off, leaving him to his international travels. In the car, I had a moment of reflection on the fact that he has been gone before, but somehow this time was a little different. He & I have lived with each other for two years! For brother & sister, I think that's an amazing amount of time--especially for siblings who have differing views on many topics of life.

If I could give him a toast--a cheer, perhaps, to wish him well in this coming year: James--I'm privileged to have been able to be a part of the place you call home in all your many adventures in life. May your well-traveled road lead you back here again someday! love from your sis. :)

moment in time

My brother sent me this picture yesterday. We were both reminded of a time growing up where mom would subject us to photo sessions. Most often they would happen in the fall—as this was the most “beautiful” outdoor backdrop for a sibling shot. This one was taken during just such a season—out behind the church we grew up in—one Sunday evening. If I recall correctly, we were both getting frustrated with the length of time it was taking to for mom to get just the right shot, and James started goofing around by not smiling for the picture. Somehow, that led to my getting a case of the giggles—which turned into hysterics—and mom shot this picture in the midst of that moment. Maybe my brother recalls the moment differently…he did mention that he was impressed with the clothing choice for himself…

Good times…good times... :)

lion day

The saying of how weather comes “in like a lion and out like a lamb” is definitely starting out true for March of 2007 in Michigan. It’s almost as if spring wants to arrive with above 40 degree temperatures and rain and thunderstorms—yet, I was out shoveling the inch of ice/snow that we received this morning. Craziness! And unfortunately, more snow yet to come this weekend…

I also want to take a moment to wish my brother a happy 26th birthday! Ahh, yes, so grown up now… ;) I was once told that men do not mature until they reach 35. Does this mean that I have 9 more years of putting up with his presence in my home?

I really am kidding. I thoroughly enjoy having my brother around often show my appreciation by doing most of the chores around the house… ;) Hope you have a great birthday, James! I love you!

lap dog?!

I love this picture...it reminds me of what the phrase "stress-free" should really be like. :)

I would like to introduce you to Jason's dog, Harley. He is a 6 year old, 130 pound American Bulldog who thinks he is a lap dog. He probably has the strength to knock over tall men, yet one of his favorite things to do is cuddle on the couch--even better if there is a blanket to cover him. He loves any toy that squeaks, chasing squirrels up trees, and playing tug-of-war. He'll rumble with the best of anyone who wants to wrestle--yet, I've seen him lick the head of a small baby. He believes it is his mission in life to tear out the stuffing of his toys, yet he loves his pillow bed.

Funny story--and I won't be ashamed to admit it!--but we recently bought Harley a coat and boots for his winter jaunts in the outdoors. For being such a large dog, he really doesn't have a very thick coat of hair--so even though he loves the snow, he would be ready to go back inside much too quickly for our tastes. The first time we dressed him up, I was laughing so hard that I was crying! But, after a couple of runs with it in this very wintery winter, he absolutely loves his new snow gear. He even was complemented on his boots by one of the neighbors down the road!

Dogs really do make me smile. :)

birth order

I've always been fascinated by birth order and how this plays into a person's personality and view on life. By birth, I technically am the oldest in my family; I was born 4 years before my brother. But, in reality, I was an only child for the first 6 years of my life as my brother is adopted and became a member of our family when he was 2 years old.

I found this website that gives the most concise description of birth order.

For me personally, I see many of the first born tendencies within myself. I took this fun little quiz that revealed the following about me:

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.
In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

I often will joke with my parents that I'm thankful for their decision to adopt my brother. (gee, thanks, mom & dad for giving me a little brother!!) Seriously though, I am thankful I have a brother. The sibling relationship is one that is unmatched in any other human interaction. One of my only child friends commented one time how surprising it was to hear comments made by one sibling to another that only a sibling could possibly get away with saying. It seemed an odd comment to hear, but then I began thinking about how true that statement really is...think about it (for those of you with a brother or sister)--has there ever been a time that you said something to your sibling but would never dare say to anyone else? The relationship shapes and molds you in such a way that no other relationship could. From a young age, you learn how to deal with emotions like jealousy & competition, protection & defense, but then let's not forget compromise & teamwork! :)

My parents come from larger families--my dad the second of five, but the oldest boy--my mom the second of four, but the oldest girl. I thought how birth order affected me was interesting until I started reading up on how it affects children in larger families. And then, not only does birth order affect you & your siblings, but it plays a part in your marriage relationship as well! For instance, two oldests will probably have a more volatile relationship (both struggle for leadership), whereas two middle children may have a relationship where neither wants to argue or disagree because both tend to be peacemakers. Ideally, opposites should marry: a first with a middle or youngest, or middle with a youngest, etc....and onlys? Well, I suppose who ever gets stuck with them should be pretty flexible about getting their own way... ;)

But, having said all that...I will conclude that birth order is not the only thing that should be taken into account when choosing a mate or even determining how someone will react in a certain situation or relationship. It is all just a fascinating look at life and how we all move through it! :)